Midnight Musings: When Video Games Are Like Chocolate Rabbits

video games are like chocolate rabbitsLate in the middle of the night when I am half asleep or wandering around in the dark trying to find a bathroom, something curious happens. The dark, oily tendrils of thought slowly start to writhe and undulate, eventually squirming through the cracks in my brain and into my conscious mind. These happen to be some of my most brilliant interesting curious strange musings and it isn’t really a convenient creative process as I most likely forget more things than I remember. Nevertheless, it happens all the time like it did last night. I refer to these as my Midnight Musings. Or at least I am starting now.

Have you ever purchased or received a video game and it turns out to be a Chocolate Rabbit? Perhaps more of a dubious coco bunny, but let me explain…

Okay, pretend it’s Easter… or maybe you don’t celebrate that…

It’s Chocolate Bunny Season… You receive one of these sweet confections and the first thing you notice is the awesome box. This things got tons of bright colors, pictures of frolicking rabbits and shit, you can even see the bunny through a little plastic window and 0h- what’s this? There’s a freakin’ maze and word scramble on the back. You know this is going to be a memorable experience.

So you tear the sucker open and yank out the foil covered rabbit. Hrmm, yeah… A little lighter than you expected but that’s probably not indicative of anything, right? You turn the rabbit over in your hands and admire the the beautiful foil art of the rabbit. He’s smiling at you! He looks happy and inviting and he seems to whisper these sweet soft words to you: “Hey guy, it’s cool. Partake of my body — I’m delicious!” You don’t need to wait for a second invite so you shred that thing’s aluminum pelt and get ready to dig in.

Huh… He looks kind of different without his wrapper. He’s naked underneath; gone are his cute overalls and plaid shirt. The once smiling face is cold and lifeless, replaced with a vacant expression and dead eyes. He’s long gone, man. The dude has been checked out for a while now and is resigned to his fate. You try not to look him in the eyes as you take a rather large bite out of his ears but are more than a little surprised at how easily he breaks away. You look down at the bunny and notice he is completely hollow inside. Empty. I mean, you know you’ve had solid bunnies in the past, right? Maybe it’s just a different way to make them? Maybe it’s easier or cheaper, you tell yourself, but the chocolate should still be good, right? Right…?

It isn’t… You’re about halfway through the hollow, soulless rabbit now and all you can think about is how he tastes more like the foil he was wrapped in. You find the scraps of his once pristine aluminum coverings and do your best to wrap him back up, bits and pieces of chocolate poking out here and there. You put your handiwork back in the box, and look at him through the clear plastic window. You can make out his face amongst the crumpled foil mess, except his once inviting grin has been contorted into some sick, twisted smile. The son of a bitch is laughing at you.

So you set it aside. You might finish it later, but you probably won’t. All you are left with is regret and a sick feeling in your gut.

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  • I only read the title and I already think this article is perfect. That being said, I too would happily take that chocolate bunny off your hands.

  • This happens to me lately way to often.
    Even after reading and watching reviews.

    Somehow when I’m playing it still does not satisfy me, as I thought it would.
    The thing is… My hunger stays and I go to the next disappointment in line.

    Why? Well sometimes I’m amazed by a title that exceeded my expectations by far. Playing with a big smile on my face.

    Are we just looking for our next shot? Hoping to find something as good as our last high?

  • Last games I where amazed by with the quality or sheer fun where need for speed hot pursuit (5$ on steam now) and xcom enemy unknown.

    What about you guys. come on. share those gems.