We were going to get Kinect Star Wars.  Actually, we were somewhat excited.  We heard good things about the pod-racing, and let’s face it we’re Star Wars nerds so the whole idea of Star Wars is also bait for the perfect trap.

No level of nerdom could have prepared us for this, though.

Sing it with me now.

I’m feelin’ like a star.
You can’t stop my shine.
I’m lovin’ Cloud City
My head’s in the sky.
I’m Solo, I’m Han Solo
I’m Han Solo

(Entire lyrics below)

I hate myself for knowing the words.

There are also Stormtroopers dancing to “It’s great to be in the YMCA Empire today!” and Twi’lek slave girls who quote, “ain’t no hologram girl.”

Once again the Kinect proves worthless to gamers.  Penny-Arcade insinuates you may find enjoyment if you’re 7, but I question whether or not younglings enjoy the game or the simple act of swinging objects around a room without being told to stop playing swords in the house.

Bioware’s use of the Kinect is highly questionable, and their own self-praise is eyebrow-raising-odd.  The Kinect was used as a glorified microphone in Mass Effect 3.  Graev would cough and it would cast a biotic.  This should have never been tacked on, or at most been accomplished with the Xbox 360 headset.

In Kinect Disneyland Adventures the Kinect was actually, believe it or not, the worst part of an otherwise shockingly good game.  If I could have just sat in my La-Z-boy chair with a controller in-hand I would have loved roaming the park collecting Disney crap.

The only use we have for the Kinect now is a hands-free Netflix remote.  It only takes three or four times to get it to work.  “Xbox! PAUSE!”  “XBOX, Pause”  “xBOX, Pause”  “xbox pauSE”

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